Still here next year.

I wonder whether people looked at Yoda when he first came on the screen in Star Wars and thought “well he doesn’t look like much?” Did people look at Greta Thunberg and think “she is just a little girl?” Often we can look at something and not fully see the potential that is under the surface and waiting for the right time and environment to appear.

So I currently feel like I don’t have much to offer, imagine I feel like I have a 2mm wide seed in my hand! It doesn’t look like much, it doesn’t look like it can do much! At the moment I feel a little helpless, limited, even frustrated at my ability to achieve anything!

In Matthew 13 Jesus talks about growth, supernatural growth. Jesus talks about how things grow in the world of the Kingdom of God, and we need to be prepared and amazed, as there are different rules when God is involved.

The illustration is that a tiny seed, in fact one of the tiniest seeds, can grow into such a large plant that birds can use it for rest. They say that a mustard seed plant can grow to up to 30ft in width, and this phenomenal creation started as just a 2mm seed – now that is growth!

This growth is an increase of 457200%, so to give you an idea of what a mustard seed into the mustard tree would look like: imagine a football, which is about 300mm, well at this rate of growth the football would then grow to around 1.3km, which would be a football that covers Hyde Park in London!! Now my maths may be a little off but I think you get the idea.

Currently my aim, rather than draining myself in this slightly restrictive season, is to still be here in the next season, in the next year. But more than that, how do I help others still be here next year. As I was writing this I was trying to not sound negative, or indeed suggest that I am going to sit back and do nothing for the next few months. Absolutely not, but what I want to ensure happens is that I am still here next year! I want to ensure that youth and children’s leaders, those quality volunteers, are still in a position to serve and journey with kids and young people. If I have burnt out by constant online creativity, or frustrated by the lack of engagement, or if I simply feel that my skill set isn’t able to fully function at this time, and I choose to give up, then that is hugely sad and serves no one.

How do I prepare the ground, prepare myself, so that in the season to come I can be fruitful? What can I nurture now to ensure growth in the future? What can I do now so that our young people and kids are in an environment which although isn’t ideal, they have support, encouragement and attention? For me I just wanted to continue to ‘check-in’ with those people God has given me to journey with. I wrote cards, I dropped occasional texts, I invited them to online things (but needing to be ok if they were all ‘zoomed-out’), I’ve even started having socially-distanced coffee on a town centre bench! But also I wanted them to ensure that their spiritual walk (their ground) is appropriately looked after and nurtured in this time when growth seems more difficult.

I truly believe God works in seasons and what if the season we are currently in isn’t one of activity and visible growth. What if the season we are in is one of lament, stillness, unseen foundation building, reflection and prayer.

The more people I ask “what do you think God is saying at this time?” the more their answers echo the idea that God is trying to get our attention! God is trying to say please, please slow down, notice the simple joys and blessings in life, stop pursuing things that do not give you what you had hoped, look up, look to those left and right, invest in the life of another human being.

As humans we seem to be driven by activity; the need to be productive. As Christians we need to include ourselves in this, I do not believe this is a time to be driven by activity, I believe it is a time to pause, to hold this mustard seed of faith and allow God to grow something for the future, for beyond this current season.

I found out some things about mustard seed which really encouraged me and also I hope speak into my heart for this blog.

– Mustard seed starts growing almost as soon as it is planted. So even if we can’t see anything happening – things ARE happening!

– Mustard seed grows with no intervention from people – it does not need moving or cultivating, it grows because of the sun and the rain, and obvious the miracle of seeds! It is right that we work hard, and we should be ‘planting seeds’, but we also need to be aware that God grows the seed!

– Mustard seeds take a ‘season’ to grow – it requires the grower to simply wait! Is God teaching you patience, I know God is often trying to get me to slow down and wait with Him.

I have always wanted to be Bear Grylls, let’s face it, he is one of the coolest, most equipped and trained people around. Bear talks about survival a lot and I am always intrigued about how I might survive if I found myself in a life-threatening situation! Now hopefully my life won’t be threatened any time soon but what about my mental health, the passion for my calling as a youth leader, what about my energy; all of these may have already taken a good beating and so are weaker than I would like. If God is going to grow something through this season and into the next then I need to ensure the ground if ready for growth. So at this time when activity is limited I wanted to take some time to ‘prepare my ground’ so that as we move out of current restrictions and into the next season of ministry, growth can happen, and happen abundantly.

So here are a few ideas to ‘prepare your ground’:

– Be near water – the verses below from Ezekiel are so powerful. Trees near water will not wither, fruit will not fail, their fruit will grow regularly and this fruit will feed and heal! So we need to place ourselves near water; near people that will refresh us, in environments that will refresh us, doing activities that will revive us. More than ever at this time we need one another, we need to “spur one another on to love and good deeds” as Hebrews 10:24 says.

– Clear rocks from the ground – often times of waiting and change involve painful experiences. I wonder whether this time is an opportunity to remove things that have been obstacles to our growth? We know things grow better in a stone-free soil. Take a moment alone with God, ask Him if there is anything that needs removing, a habit, a behaviour, an unhelpful relationship, a past hurt you hold too tightly.

– Be open to the light – the sun grows things so we need to be out in the sun. I will use this in a couple of ways if I may; take time to be outside, walk, run, climb, breathe. But also allow spiritual light in, maybe take time to read a whole gospel and meditate on in. In times of waiting God is not absent, but maybe He has the opportunity to be heard now that there is less noise and activity?

– Be excited for new fruit, different fruit – this next season might mean our ministries look a bit different. We may start new things which will be even more fruitful than the things of the past. Let us be open to what God wants to grow, in us and in our ministry.

– Ground is better when it is ‘turned over’ – I don’t know much about gardening but I think I am right in saying that at the beginning of a new season of planting you ‘turn over’ the soil. This almost wakens the soil up! For many of us we may feel like we have been ‘turned over’, but this may be a good thing, allowing a refreshing, a renewing and an opportunity for beautiful new growth. It might not feel great now but know that there is a reason and purpose to everything God does, it may just take time for us to see it.

“Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.””

Ezekiel 47:12 NIV

I need to stay close to the river, ensuring I can access the life-giving water, so that growth, regular, abundant growth may happen. This next few months I want to stay close to the river myself but also to encourage others to spend time there. These past few months have been hugely challenging and then next few will also pose a few obstacles to our ministry and our calling. More than ever we need to position ourselves in places that feed us, grow us and protect us. Over the coming year I want to spend time with people and be in an environment where my “leaves do not whither, nor my fruit fail.”

Where is this place for you? Who are the people that will keep you watered? Find them, go there, stay there for a while!

I pray that you would see your faith grow like the mustard seed and that you would be encouraged with fruit from your tiniest labours of love and faith!